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about

I made this in my basement

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released July 11, 2014

Written, performed, and recorded by Justin Roth
Artwork by Kate Dawson

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The Earth From the Moon Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

Formerly Robbing Bandits

I like to make music

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Track Name: Float
this would be the greatest thing i've ever done
if only i could muster up the courage
the freckles on your shoulders never looked so nice
the freckles on your chest never looked so inviting
i am nervous i am tense i am alarmed i am on full alert
who knows what's happening next
who know what i'll say probably the wrong thing
it's always the wrong thing but still i pray
i dont alienate you too far
i need at least one friend
the rest left me or rather; i left them
but that's the way it goes

I was born a biologist but raised a worry wart
worried my father would fall out of that plane when i was 4
you see i didnt understand physics or gravity
2 things i still struggle with today
you see i would have worried about a crash
i should have worried about the lash of a belt against my back
i was never beat i just like to make up facts
oh there i go embarrassing myself again
i put the "ass" in embarrass

i am a loser i am a star
my parents hope that i go far
but i am not so sure and sometimes i think about
just living in my mom's basement cause i'm poor
poor not in the pockets but in the brain
forced inside a picture for which the frame is
much too tall and i am much too short

or something like that

there's a saying that we either sink or swim
well i think i just wanna float
go where the current takes me
and sleep til my alarm wakes me
although i'm known to talk more when i sleep
but i am awake now and i feel like talking til i'm
sore in the throat if you're willing to listen
but i will talk either way cause i'm just that arrogant of a person

i feel like walking around the block
i feel like bothering you until you talk
and give me everything i need oh how i wish to see
your words bleed of truth and honesty like i've never
lied to you i would never lie to you
of course not
but now a coarse knot has tied itself in my brain
and it loves to drive me insane
such that it cannot see the road
i̶ ̶a̶m̶ ̶t̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶s̶w̶i̶m̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶d̶a̶m̶n̶ ̶i̶t̶,̶
i̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶i̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶f̶l̶o̶a̶t̶
such that it does not know what it's told
to slow down, to turn left, or to veer to the right a little
it is driving right in the middle
between one way and the other
but i continue to struggle to pull that wheel in the right lane
take control of my right brain and fight the left til
i've got nothing left
and i have got nothing left
(except this)

There's a saying that we either sink or swim
well i think i just wanna float
Track Name: Light-Up Frisbee
my head has gone cold along with my heart
i don't really know what they really want
my parents think i am alone too much
i guess i don't speak as much as they would wish

my brain cannot think fast as my mouth can speak
and i always say the wrong thing
so i didn't mean to hurt you like that
i just really hope that you still have my back

there is something new about you now
and i am trying real hard to figure it out
something about your hips and the way they move
something about your lips and the way they sooth
(the way they sooth)

my haircut's a shame and my clothes aren't too cool
and i don't have many friends but i do well in school
i'm uptight all of the time about the littlest things
i am lonely and sad and that is why i sing

there is something new about me now
and i am trying real hard to figure it out
something about my eyes and the way they stare
something about my mind and how it doesn't care
there is something good about us now
about the way i don't talk and you're so loud
something about a book and turning the page
something about a love in a loveless age
(a loveless age)
Track Name: Marijuana
there is a difference between what i say and what i do
i will make you a promise and i will follow through
rest assured, i am reliable as all hell
now if only i could stop feeling sorry for myself

i have my head on straight, i keep my morals close
but the promise of a good time never fails to make me lose those
and my friend convinced my to do something i did not wanna do
but look at me now, oh man, look at me i am so cool

i will take my chances, i will take them slow
anything i can do to get you to my hope
you will undress and i will focus on your eyes
i will know i've done something wrong when you start to cry

i need a break from this sensation
i don't want this anymore
i need a friend who won't replace me
i need someone to trust
Track Name: I Am Sorry and I'll Change
i am pretty bad at parking my car
so i am trying to get it better
(i always take things too far
to the point where i upset her)
I'm usually too far from the curb
and if not, i drive up on it
(i'm afraid i will lose her
when there's a line drawn and i cross it)

and i am sorry and i'll change
at least that's what i'll say
when you call me on my shit, when you're all too sick of it
i am sorry and i'll change

i will change
(for you)

i've been fat since i was a kid
so i am trying to lose some weight
(her patience is growing thin
and i'm afraid she's about to escape)
but so far i've lost nothing
no, not even a single pound
(it just feels like i'm always pushing
away at the beauty i've found)

and i am sorry and i'll change
at least that's what i'll say
when you call me on my shit, when you're all too sick of it
i am sorry and i'll change

and i am sorry and i'll change
at least that's what i'll say
when you call me on my shit, when you're all too sick of it
i am sorry and i'll change
i am sorry and i'll change
i am sorry and i'll change
i am sorry and i'll change
i am sorry and i'll change
Track Name: Dark Sea
until the waves come to take me
into the vast, dark sea
i will remain here beside you
i will lay here to guide you
into a life unpredictable
into a resting final
we will meet there one day
when we've nothing left to say

i will take your hand in mine
i will hold it no matter what we find
out there, wading in the dark sea
or wherever we will be
cause this is the end of what we know
when the numbers on our hearts no longer grow
the end of the grand masquerade
where we act like we understand the game we play

but this is nothing to fear
cause i'll be with you, my dear
when these waves come to sweep
both of us into the dark sea
Track Name: John Deely
hey John would you stop bugging me
i'm not gonna write a song about you
i'm not gonna lie and say that you cut yourself
say you cut yourself

hey John i've got too many things
on my mind to talk to you know
to hear your joke you stole from someone else
from someone else

hey, why don't you give me a break?
hey, i've got more to say

hey John if they're from India
they're not called Native Americans
they're just called Indians
they're called Indians
they're called Indians

hey John don't try to give me advice
if you've got no experience
and right now i know you don't
i know you don't
i know you don't

hey, why don't you give me a break?
hey, i've got more to say
Track Name: I'm So Glad You've Come Home
i'm so glad you've come home
you made a mess the night away you stole
you took off without saying goodbye
wanted us to believe you had died

well we're not so dense, you see
we knew alive you would be
asked your friends where you had gone
you were on a bus on the way to Michigan

mom met you at the station
walking with your new friend
begged you to come home, but you said no
i guess there were better fucking places for you to go

but i was not prepared, you see
bawled my eyes out like i was a child of 3
and of 3 i was, but now only of 2
and i have no more room for that third, you

a couple years later, we get a call
you tell us that you're sorry about it all
our parents arranged for you to come back home
they were happy, but i did not care much at all

cause i'm not so dumb as you are loud
you didn't care about me then, so why should you now?
you left everything for just a stupid chance
i hope you're happy having run us through this dance

i'm so glad you've come home
let the newspapers know
that you're alright and everything is okay
on this holy, blessed, wonderful fucking day
Track Name: God
god is a mystery to me
how could you believe
in something you can't see or touch or smell or taste
i hear only the voice inside my head
and wonder if the dead
are anywhere but a bed of dirt and soil

the bible says what to do
but how do you pick and choose
what is right and what is wrong, it all comes down to
what you believe personally
being gay is a sin, but we
can divorce however we please, i thought we weren't allowed to do that

according to god

i need something to believe

i find myself praying every night
and wondering if it's right
talking to someone who might not be real, why wouldn't
a god want himself known
maybe he's a little cold
or maybe we don't wanna think that we're alone

i need something to believe
i need something to receive
Track Name: Aeda
i took my time with you
i took it slow
i took you swimming in the backyard
with nothing to show

blood trickles down the staircase
i cannot believe
blood trickles, makes me wanna look away
but i have to see

that you are dead
and i am free
to run away
to fall and flee

cause there's nothing left
nothing to see
nothing to change
to bring you back to me

now you take your time
and i'll do things right
i'll bury you in the backyard
i know that's what you'd have liked